Asking for help (the right way)

Self-sufficiency over a quick fix

I am finally getting around to reading Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings by Dr Steven Rogelberg. Since my entire career has essentially been about meetings (me leading meetings, encouraging/training for better meetings, coaching—which is a meeting, etc.) it is not surprising I am really enjoying what he wrote! One key tip stuck out to me:

In 1:1 meetings, in part, we should be asking for help (constructively). When we are taking on new challenges, confronting obstacles, and working under pressure or disentangling nebulous tasks and expectations, asking for help is paramount.

Two types of help

Social psychologists, he writes, categorize help-seeking behaviors into two types:

Autonomous Help-Seeking and

Dependent Help-Seeking

Autonomous help-seeking behaviors include seeking information that enables us to be independent, accomplish tasks, and solve problems on our own.
Dependent Help-Seeking looks more like asking for “quick fixes” or “answers” from someone else. This style might provide immediate gratification but doesn’t yield much in long-term growth.

In fact, greater job performance and career success is linked to those that practice autonomous help-seeking behaviors.

Ask and offer

I am not great at asking for help, at times. Asking for help can be difficult. Interestingly, Dr Rogelberg recommends offering help regularly actually helps us to learn to ask for help for readily.

What is something you want to accomplish by year’s end? Who could you ask for help this week? If you want some gentle accountability (or some help) just send me a message.