Grace-Based Accountability
upholding consequences is service, and safe
Several recent coaching conversations in group-team settings have circled around this idea of the tension between grace and accountability.
Many of our service-based, people-first organizations want to be filled with grace for employees and customers. This, on its own, is valuable! Taken too far, it can become problematic.
True grace is not devoid of accountability or consequences. You can be graceful as a leader while enforcing standards. The combination is possible!
A grace-based accountability conversation
I recently coached an entire leadership team through planning, structuring, and executing accountability conversations with a group of employees that have been problematic, resistant, and outright stubborn for months and years.
The grace comes in the giving of another chance—a dozenth or so chance in this case. The grace comes in the clear communication: “we want you to be on this team, we want to give you a final chance. If you can’t commit to this team and our standards and expectations, we will help you find a better fit for you.”
The grace comes in defined outcomes on a set timeline. In two weeks you need to achieve A, B, and C. If you miss any one of them by that Friday, that will be your last day. If you need help achieving those things, please ask.
The grace comes in providing options, voice, and choice.
This is not ruthless, leading with an iron-fist, fire-first (ask questions later) leadership—but this is strong, because it is clear and kind. If you revel in the accountability and consequences, it is not grace-based. But if you avoid it and give yet-another chance, you are not being kind to yourself or others involved.
Consider what is ungraceful and unkind:
How grace-based is it allowing one employee or guest to misbehave and abuse your high-performing staff?
Do you think your quality team members experience grace in the way you hold them to a standard that you don’t hold others to?
How grace-based is it to allow someone to underperform, cause problems for others, and collect a negative reputation?
If any behavior is unsafe to the group as a whole, it is NOT grace-based to allow it to continue. Especially if it’s simply because you are uncomfortable addressing dysfunction head-on.
Consider an airline: you experience grace from the flight attendants, hospitality and kindness—yet they still ask you to put on your seatbelt. They still require you to raise your seat and get your bag out of the aisle. Is this lacking grace?
What is a grace-based accountability conversation you need to have? What is something that has gone on too long? How soon could you could set clear expectations and consequences?
If you need support planning and holding grace-based accountability conversations (or any other leadership development): I'm Nathan-- a Trauma-Informed Leadership Coach and Facilitator and I’d love to connect with you.
If you want to learn more, reach out or follow me on LinkedIn!
