MOVEMBER Thanksgiving
something resonating beyond the party
a little different take on thankful season.
(it’s not health advice or useful for diagnosis, you know that…)
I made a last minute decision to participate in MOVEMBER, simply by shaving my face to feature ‘the stash’. This movement, as silly as it might seem on the surface, has some pretty deep implications.
My MOVEMBER participation was mostly attuned to the mental health side of MOVEMBER. Throughout my Master’s in Clinical Mental Health journey I was exposed to a reality that I have been blissfully ignorant of much of my life. In 2023, “suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34,” and 75% of those deaths were men like me (NIMH). Mental Health as a whole is a very challenging space for many people around the world and our modern life has exposed just how dire the situation is more many.
This Thanksgiving, I was unusually aware of and thankful for my own mental health. The wellness and mindset bros/gals will imply that your mental health is 100% controllable: more broccoli, water, weights, sex, mantras, etc. will fix it for you.
The reality is, I cannot decide how mentally healthy I am. Just like I can’t decide if I have cancer, or a genetic kidney disorder, or thyroidism, mental disorders are not a choice. Can I influence it? Sure thing! But at the end of the day, the genetic lottery might not hit my numbers, and so depression or anxiety disorders (different from feelings, both REAL) might be the Holiday guest that wasn’t invited and overstays. Trauma that was not my fault or in my control may have lasting effects. Less daylight and colder temps can exacerbate our problems, on top of overexposure to dysfunctional family dynamics, traumatic memories, overeating, over-scheduling and travel stress, etc. These are some of the controllables, but not the baseline. I can’t decide if I have Type-1 Diabetes, but I can decide to use my insulin or not. Or watch my sugars, or not. Actions have consequences, but I can’t control where my health starts and ends at the cellular level—Mental or Physical.
You can always ignore a disorder and get really good at covering it and overcompensating, but that usually has tragic consequences. For Mental Health specifically, those consequences are part of the stats above, deadlier than heart disease.
Gratitude’s place
I find that gratitude is a key lever toward life satisfaction. Even when our health, mental or physical or relational or financial etc., is less than perfect, gratitude helps us remember what we do have, what is good, and what we are able to tap into more frequently. You can lament the dysfunctional person all day (you should process it appropriately), but then focus on being thankful for the healthy ones and schedule more and better time with them. Control what you can and hold your own boundaries. Accept what you can’t control (serenity) and seek wisdom to know the difference.
I’m late to the Thanksgiving blog table, but this is a gratitude that is hardly seasonal. I am thankful for my mental health. I am thankful for your mental health and for you! I am glad you are in my life, even if just through these words.
My reflections on therapy’s place
If you have struggles in your mental health, if feelings of anxiety, depression, panic, or stress interfere with having a steady daily life, help is out there. Money is a real barrier in the US to mental health care AND practitioners know that and want to help you anyways. Insurance, low-cost options exist, you just might have to look. If you need help navigating it, I’m happy to help how I can. And, please, always talk to several therapists to find the right fit for you for your situation. 70-90% of therapeutic outcomes are directly tied to the therapeutic alliance (relationship).
If you have unpleasant feelings you’re navigating, trusted relationships with wise people are infinitely valuable. Sometimes you just need a good chat about something and to decide to do something (let go, make a request, set a boundary, pass it off, etc). Therapists often fill that gap, but I recommend the more the merrier when it comes to relational resources! Build a bench of coaches, cheerleaders, friends, mentors, spiritual advisors that support you when times get tough. This works at every level of mental health. Good coaches and therapists will help you resource and use all the resources you can! Your therapist or coach probably won’t answer the phone at 10pm but a friend or spiritual mentor will.
What is something related to mental health that you are thankful for?
Lean on that this season. Until next time,